As I sit here and try to think of what to say about this upcoming year and all the goals I would like to achieve...I'm overwhelmed. There is so much!
I'm sitting in bed. It's 8pm. B-ball hour {that glorious hour that Coaster Boy and Lulu go to practice and Briggs is asleep and I don't do anything but blog} It's my favorite hour. Well, one of my favorite hours. These last couple of days, I've felt overly full. I keep saying in my head, this is MY LIFE, I'M NOT DREAMING. Sounds so dumb and super lame. However, I've longed for these days for a very, very long time.
When Ari was little, I didn't work until she was 2. However, I was so lonely. Living alone, traveling all over the place. No friends, no instagram. My world was lonely! Although I treasure those years when it was just Ari and I, I'm not gonna lie they were hard! We moved back to Seattle and I started to work, for the 1st time since I graduated. I always felt a little void. I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. I wasn't using me, for what God really had in store for me. I could feel it. I was settling for the easy. I needed easy. Every church service about finding your purpose really pulled at my heart strings. Or messages on calling, or taking steps of faith....for weeks after I would always question what I was doing, but did nothing about it. I continued to work, having too so I could pay bills and hating what I did. Although many years I worked with so many amazing people I think that covered over much of my unhappiness. The job with my amazing co-workers ended and I moved onto another role doing the same old thing {Executive Assistant} with different companies. Always knowing, this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. Heart strings being pulled. Slowly but strongly.
Years went by.
And over these years a lady, Traci... always reached out to me. I met her in a growth group from church. She asked me to be an ambassador for Fly Fitness (post here) and she emailed me when I was prego with Briggs that she didn't think I should go back to work and that I should teach at Fly. In my dreams I thought. I don't work out. I eat like crap. When people asked me if I worked out, it was kind of a joke. In my dreams people!
But that's my point exactly. In my dreams. I am dreaming. I am now officially teaching at Fly Fitness and I am a freaking fitness person. I'm living a daily life to better my health and my body. I am with Ari before and after school. I am here to wipe all of Briggs' poopy diapers! Dreamy right?
I took the leap. I finally listened to this lady who kept pursuing me. I was really freaking scared (still am) and I did it. I quit my job that I hated so much. That sucked the life out of me. I couldn't do it without Zeb. Honestly his support and encouragement is really what I needed. Yes, things are really different. Yes, we will be more careful with our pennies (what else is new?), and yes, I might just go crazy in a couple of months. But for now. I'm proud of myself. I don't think I've been proud of myself since...well my college graduation, but I was knocked up and hiding it so I know I wasn't that proud.
I'm so grateful that I'm here. That I am living this dream. Not a dream in a huge house or driving a brand new car, wearing clothes that are fancy. A simple dream, that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. That I'm helping others. To have healthier hearts. Stronger bodies. Clear minds. Is that a quote from Friday Night Lights?
I'm doing what I'm called to be doing. Finally. Finally. It's going to be a journey. And I have tons to learn. But I'm proud of where I am at. And what's to come.
Here's to 2013. For taking those leaps of faith. For becoming a better you. For doing something you never thought you could. Even if it's pea sized. It doesn't matter. Seriously. If I can do it, you sure as heck can.
xo
Thank you Steve Jobs for your endless {amazing} quotes about money. following your heart and living your best life. If you need some inspiration, just google steve jobs quotes.
