I got a text from one of Ari's friend's mom last night at 10pm asking if we could talk, regarding the girls. My heart immediately sank as I thought of what the heck it could be. I thought it had to do with Ari and this little girl both being "brown" and being excluded, or made fun of...or maybe Ari was telling her friend everything she was learning in her new Body Book we were reading (a great book about puberty, etc for girls) and her mom wasn't ok with all the details Ari was giving? Then I thought maybe Ari stole something...my mind went a little crazy for those short 2 minutes until I called the mom.
A very long story short. Ari's little posse was leaving a member of their posse out and it was really affecting her. Which it would anyone...and my heart broke a little bit. I totally knew how she felt and I think we all have been in that situation...at school, work, whatever. And it urked me a little bit that Ari was part of this excluding deal. Which, I'm sure I was apart of many of times back in the day. But I wasn't having it and I hated to think of Ari's dear friend sitting alone at lunch because "the girls" didn't want to sit next to her. Ugh.
So this morning, during our daily morning snuggle time with Briggs, I brought up how important it is in life to honor our friendships, to be kind to one another, even when we don't agree or when maybe standing up for someone might not be the cool thing to do. I told Lu that if she was in her friend's shoes she would be so sad, and she got a little teary. I know Ari knew what she was doing wasn't right...
This conversation brought me to so many amazing post that Momastery does. And THIS one (click on this to read) is so, so, so good about friendships and girls. What it comes down too is, we need to take care of each other.
And just like I told Lu this morning. We have to be kind to our friends, because when we are sad or left out, when the world is not our favorite place to be, our friends are the ones that are there to make us feel better.
I really hope it clicked for Lu.
6 comments:
i am DREADING that age and those things - i would have died waiting to call that mom back and my mind would have done exactly what yours did.
have you read - 'odd girl out - the hidden culture of aggression in girls' i really enjoyed it, i think it's a movie too if you don't feel like reading it.
hang in there momma you are doing a good job xoxo
These are the life lessons I know I will struggle with in raising Scarlett. Love Momastery and your advice to your girl!
I am not looking forward to that either. It makes me teary just reading your story. I hope that I can handle it as well as you did when the time comes. Great job, Momma!
Thanks ladies!
so, so hard!!! love ari and her friends!
i'm just seeing this post.. and i loved it. i have been on both sides.. the outsider and the leaver-out-er. i love the conversation you had with her. it is so important to have these open conversations. good job mama.
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